What mouldy food can teach us about dating
Dr Michael Mosley has been at it again and is shaking up what we thought we knew with more diet tips. This week, Dr Mosley tackles mould and the debate about when it is acceptable to keep on eating and when we should just chuck it away.
Common sense will tell us that sell-by dates (particularly on tins) are really just a precautionary measure and most things do not suddenly wither on the day of expiration. However, we can take other, valuable life lessons from ‘gone-off’ food, in particular, advice on dating. How do you know when to end a relationship? How can you tell if it’s going to go the distance?
Lisa Helmanis offers great advice on when to throw in the towel in her book, Master dating:
How to spot a ‘definitely not’
Of course, we all have our off days, and sometimes we don’t give the best impression. If you think that some of his dodgy behaviour could just be some dodgy, early-days glitches, then give yourself a time limit and hang in there for a little while. On the other hand, if he seems to fit any of these descriptions, if they seem to be a large part of his personality or a major pastime, walk on by.
- A man who has more beauty products than you do. There is nothing wrong with taking a pride in his appearance, but it shouldn’t take up 50% of his salary.
- Someone who uses the calculator on his mobile phone to work out your share of the bill in a restaurant. Or an actual calculator.
- A man that assumes it’s OK to invite his friends along when you ask him to a friend’s party, dinner, meet your parents…
- A man who always complains that he is exhausted every night after work or whenever you ask him to do anything that involves your friends. This is selfishness of the worst kind: disguising his laziness as you being demanding.
- Any man that says he loves you within the first week – it rarely counts for much if he doesn’t know your second name.
- Someone who turns being boyish into an art form. It’s cute until he can’t be relied upon to pay his share of the rent or leaves the baby on the bus.
- A ‘rarely available’. No one is that busy. A man who is not often available is usually not very interested or has got someone else.
- Anyone in a relationship. If you genuinely believe that he is the one, then ask him to come back when he is free. If he is right, he will extract himself and come find you.
- Your best friend’s ex, father or current boyfriend.
- Anyone who leaves weeks between being in touch – to be frank, he is obviously looking for an, ahem, ‘release’ and you are it.
- Anyone you think would be perfect if you could just change that one little thing about them…
Are you free?
Sometimes people think they are looking for a relationship, when really they are looking for a way to fill their time, entertain themselves or get some sex and comfort. And there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with those desires. Unless, of course, you are on the receiving end of them, hoping for more. You can, naturally, ask the other person straight out what they want, but they might not be honest with you or even be aware of their real motivations.
So you have to use a little common sense here and make a judgement call. A guy who wants to see you no more than two nights a week may be taking it slow or may just have no big plans for your future. Try upping the ante by asking clearly, in an adult way with no whining, for what you would like (three nights a week, perhaps). Don’t explain or cajole; if he wants to keep you or please you he will think it through and reply, also in an adult way; if he wants things only on his terms he may try to make you feel like a demanding bunny-boiler (unless you are a demanding bunny-boiler, in which case get help). If so, it could be time to move on.
Maybe it’s time to clear out your fridge…and your little black book!