Dating | Weddings

Wedding Speeches

Everyone looks forward to the speeches - as long as they aren't too long. Make sure everyone tries a run through and times themselves. If any of your speakers fancies themselves as a bit of a performer, make your instructions very clear: this is a toast to the happy couple, not a chance to fulfil those dreams of being on the stage.

Officially, the speeches run in the following order: the bride's father's speech, the bridegroom's speech and lastly the best man's speech. Kick off the toasts with an announcement by the toastmaster or best man, who should ask for the bride's father to deliver a speech of 'health and happiness to the bride and bridegroom'. He would normally welcome the groom's parents, relatives of both families any other guests and welcome the groom to his family and say a few words about his daughter.

The bridegroom replies on behalf of himself and his bride, taking the opportunity to thank his parents and talk about his love for his bride, and thank all those present for their attendance and gifts. He will finish by toasting the bridesmaids (no, not that kind of toasting) and may also present them with a small gift as a token of the couple's appreciation. Next is the most awaited speech of all. It is the best man's duty to respond to the toast on behalf of the bridesmaids, and then deliver what has historically become a fun speech to warm everybody up ready for the good old knees up they should be having to give the couple a good start. And, of course, it should include a good dose of humiliation for the groom.

AND THEN I SHAVED OFF HIS EYEBROWS.

So, does the best man's feel like the most pressured speech of the day? There are tips you can give him (that might work for you, too). Firstly, relax. This is not open-mike night at your local. This audience will be rooting for you; they really want to laugh, and will even be tuned into funny bits you weren't overly impressed with yourself. Unless it's a shotgun wedding, the guests want everything to have the feel-good factor.

When faced with a blank sheet of paper, it's a good start to jot down anything that comes into your head. For the best man, writing down some facts gives an effective skeleton: how he knows the groom, when you met and how he met your partner, etc. Anecdotes about how has the couple's relationship blossomed will be well received. It is appropriate to tell stories that recall the groom's crazy, bachelor antics, but it's not the time to announce that he has slept with most of the bridesmaids. The best man will be expected to be a little risqué but not to give grandmothers heart attacks.

It may seem that every best man's speech that brought the house down was adlibbed all the way through. No such thing: always remember that no professional comedian goes on stage without any preparation so neither should any of you. Get a willing friend to listen to the speech and then consider their opinions as openly as possible. Don't get defensive if they are only trying to help.

Suggest the best man assesses his voice. If he talks in a flat, monotonous sounding way, he could practise filling it with inflection. It's surprising to discover what sounds artificial to you seems perfectly normal to others. It will also help with nerves if he feels he's playing a part rather than standing up in front of complete strangers for a rather long one-way chat. And as a general rule for all of you, slow down: most people tend to rabbit through things. If you can bear it, film yourselves with a camcorder to see which of these crimes you commit so you can rectify them as you practise.

Disclaimer & Copyright © Infinite Ideas 2008