Dating | Weddings

Wedding Readings

Getting readings right

Readings can be a wonderful way to express what's in your heart without having to emotionally put yourself on the line (especially if you are a blubberer). And the best thing is, someone has already done the work for you. Choosing the right readings is essential because they set the tone for the whole ceremony. So, don't be too hasty in making your decision - it could help you say a great deal in a very short time.

Timing is a key factor. Make sure your readings are concise, but long enough to express your personal sentiments fully. They must not be so long that guests zone out and start reading the prayer book for relief. At the same time, anything too short will sound like a limerick, and those should be saved for the best man's speech. Get a friend to time them as you read them out - you might be surprised how quickly three stanzas can seem like a stroll through eternity.

WHERE TO LOOK

There are plenty of books out there dedicated to wedding readings, but spread your search wider. Is there a favourite poem or book from your childhood that has special memories? You don't have to stick with Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet or Shakespeare to have a meaningful reading. And think hard about what you are trying to communicate: are you trying to express your feelings for each other through the reading? If so, why not consider choosing a reading each, to be read as responses. Lots of couples choose readings that express their feelings about their relationship or what they think marriage should be about.

Readings are a lovely way of communicating your intentions towards each other and how you hope to relate to one another in the future. This is not to say you should go as far as including the lines such as 'And I will take control of the laundry basket as long as the dishwasher gets stacked straight after dinner'.

However, a light touch can be just as poignant as a seventeenth-century romantic poet. Make sure that you understand each other's tastes. Get your partner to choose three poems they like, and you do the same, and see which are the most similar in tone. You could even consider writing a reading yourself - try a witty list of intentions, or a love letter you have kept (just make sure it's one from the person you're about to walk down the aisle with).

CHOOSING YOUR READER

Just because Aunt Maude was in amateur dramatics, it's not a good reason to let her step up to the mike. Similarly, as much as you love your gran, if she can't read your chosen passage without 2 ft cue cards, you may have to think again. You need to consider how comfortable your reader will be. Don't strong-arm a reluctant friend into participating or you will get the reading you deserve - mumbled and raced through. Choose someone who will relish the task and put some thought into its delivery; many an exquisite Shakespeare sonnet has been murdered by a lack of intonation and inflection.

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