Dating | Weddings

Best Man Duties

So, what's this best man lark all about? There is more to it than ensuring the groom is never left with an empty glass at his stag do. Traditionally, it was the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck, and ensure that once he had began his journey to the church he actually got there (no matter how substantial the bribe).

Sorry, but if anything goes wrong, it kind of is the best man's fault. So here is a simple guide to what you should be doing to prove your mettle.

You should start by getting the contact details of the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid. This way you'll be able to liaise on arrangements and queries (such as "Where is the bride?!"). And although the jokes about the best man having first crack at the bridesmaids might be funny, they are just that: jokes. Those posh dresses they are wearing are not wrapping paper, and you will have to talk to them a lot in the run up to the wedding, so leave any indiscretions until the reception (where you can make a hasty retreat).

You also need to sit and work a few things out with the groom. He may ask you to help to choose the ushers and explain their duties to them, and even oversee them on the day. Compile a list of close family members who should have special seating arrangements at the ceremony and pass it on to the ushers. Transport is part of your domain too, so visit the ceremony and the reception venues to check on timings and parking arrangements; you don't want to discover the bride's limo can only stop to let her out two blocks away. (For extra points, check the traffic conditions on the big day.) You will also be expected to attend the wedding rehearsal and arrange the going-away car for the bride and groom from the reception if required. (Stick an emergency list of taxi companies on your schedule list so you can save the day should needs must.)

The day before, you are your groom's wing man, but you really need to be available to him for the whole week before and do things such as collect any hired clothing and accessories. You'll have to badger the groom to make sure he has all the necessary documents for the ceremony and the honeymoon. You also need to organise decorations for the going-away car, which can be as simple as a single ribbon, tastefully tied, or something more along the jovial theme of tin cans and shaving foam. Just make sure that the driver can still see where he's going.

Some best men also organise decoration for the honeymoon suite, especially if it is in the same location as the reception. Remember, the adult, sensitive approach to this tends to involve a bottle of chilled champagne and some soft lighting, not putting water-filled condoms in the bed. (Anything has to be an improvement on the best man who filled the couple's Jacuzzi full of washing up liquid, and then filled it full of ushers (still in hired morning suits), and filled them with the contents of the mini bar. The not so happy couple came in to find them all fast asleep buried in foam.)

During the ceremony you carry and present the rings to the groom, and follow the wedding procession down the aisle after the last bridesmaid, and keep following them until you hit the reception. There you will be part of the receiving line and greet the guests. You might also be expected to carry cash to pay the band or DJ, and it is traditional for you to pay the church minister's fee, adding an odd sum to bring luck to the couple.

The next day, collect and return any hired clothing and accessories. And the chief bridesmaid

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