Speed Dating

The modern world moves quickly: and the perfect dating example of that is the speed-dating phenomenon.

Rather than a desperate bid to find love, it's a time-efficient way for time-pressed people to take control of their romantic situation.

The advantages are obvious. You don't have to explain your agenda, break the ice or think of even making sure that there are any available, single men in the room (although, of course, there are no guarantees as with any other type of dating; you could be sitting opposite a married man with three kids, so keep your wits about you). But it is also a great way to get your flirting muscle primed: how often do you get the chance to get talk to twenty-five single men in one evening?

So how does it work?

A group of singles looking to meet other available people attend an organised event at an agreed location at an agreed time. They sit at tables, usually facing each other, and follow a strict time schedule (there may even be whistles involved) of approximately seven-minute cycles. In that time, you are expected to chat away about yourselves and decide if there is any chemistry between you and if you would like to take it further. Different organisers have different rules; some won't allow you to discuss your occupations, salaries or age to encourage you to stay open-minded and ask more inventive questions. (You are also often not allowed to discuss more intimate details, either, such as addresses or surnames, in order to keep participants safe.) When the whistle is blown, you must move on and start again with the next person, even if you want to write 'mine' on the guy's forehead in lipstick. When the frenzy is over, you are handed an envelope with cards containing the names of the people interested in meeting up with you again, or you might just get the chance to mingle at a less frenzied pace.

Make the most of your seven minutes

So you have a limited time to impress, and you need to act fast. The first way to make an impression is to dress the part. You are likely to be behind a table so there's not a lot of use in wearing your micro-mini (slinging your legs over the back of your chair might create the wrong impression). Concentrate on making the most of your best features, and this includes subtly drawing attention to them. Make sure you maintain eye contact, smile and touch your face; these are all ways of making someone feel, and find you, attractive. Make sure your questions draw the other person out; you should be given some information to work with, so ask leading questions, rather than ones that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Pick up on things they say; if they tell you they love the outdoors ask them where they go, ask what it's like or for recommendations on places they would suggest. If you like someone, flirt but keep it clean; anything too fresh sounds desperate. And don't feel pressured to answer anything that you don't want to answer.

If you do meet a guy that you don't click with, which is bound to happen at some point, then make sure you act with generosity. Be thoughtful and make that person feel comfortable; it's only a single-digit number of minutes and it would be ego-destroying to leave earlier, so make sure you have some stock questions, even if they are as simple as 'Do you have any brothers and sisters?'

A new spin on speed

If that's a little too direct for you, there are now club nights specifically for singles which create an open environment for people to chat. You have your photograph on a big board with a pouch in which interested parties can leave their details. Check the web or local listings for events.


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