Dating | Weddings

First Date Advice

Dating is great. It's fun, liberating and can make you feel wonderfully alive and attractive. But, like anything, you've got to be sensible about it too.

To make sure that you can relax and have a great time, you can take some really easy steps to protect yourself.

This is not designed to unduly worry you, but as my mother (and everyone else's) always used to say, 'Better to be safe than sorry'. After all, the handsome stranger at the bar is just that: a stranger.

Getting to know you...

Here are some things you should think about.

Make sure you know all the basics about the guy; if you meet in a bar, make sure you know where he works (also good way of checking that he has a job), where he lives and his last name. Sounds ridiculous, but its not unheard of to find yourself on a date and be too embarrassed to ask his surname. Now, this is a bit unfair, but when asked the same questions be vague: let him know what you do and the area you work in, the area you live in but not the street. When arranging the date, give out your mobile phone number; that way you can have his calls blocked should you need to.
Make sure that your first date is somewhere neutral, not your local pub. For two reasons: one, you may not like him and not want to see him turn up in your favourite watering hole asking when you're next free; two, it's likely to be near your home so you may have a few drinks and end up inviting him back just because it's so close. Choose somewhere busy and easy to get to so you aren't stranded at the end of the date. When you are in a bar, make contact in some way with the bartender or waiter so they will remember you, like having a joke or by ordering a yard of ale (my joke, but find something distinctive to do).
Let your date know that you have talked about him and your meeting, and make sure you do this. Let a friend know where you are and what you have planned. It's an old trick, but you could even get one to call your mobile - at the very least, you look popular!
Transport is also a key issue. Don't let the date pick you up from home or share a cab home with you. (And, as you would on any normal night, make sure it is a registered cab.)
Don't leave your drink on the bar; the use of date rape drugs is on the increase, so be alert (it's not just your date who would have access to it). The same with your handbag; don't leave your bag about as it will have your keys, your address, maybe your diary. all manner of personal information in it that you are unlikely to want to share.
Go Dutch by paying half the bill if you suspect it's a one-off date; that way you won't feel under any obligation to return the favour. Even if you think you may see him again, don't let him pay if you feel uncomfortable.
Keep your wits about you. You can be laughing, have great chemistry and feel like something special might be happening, but five hours usually isn't quite long enough to work out exactly who he is. Some charmers specialise in saying all the right things for all the wrong reasons.
For the super-paranoid, there are some great ways to make sure that you are like the Pentagon. Have a separate email account for dates so you don't ever have to reply if you don't want to, and make your phone number unlisted, blocking your caller ID number using your phone company's service. Both ideas are especially useful if you are engaging in a lot of internet dating.


Custom Search