Contraception Advice

OK, so dating doesn't necessarily mean getting frisky, but lets face it: at some point, it usually does.

And with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise, you need to think ahead and not get caught with your pants down (if you will excuse the phrase).

Making an informed choice

Safe sex has three simple contraception choices: condoms, condoms and condoms. No matter what other choices you have made, only this barrier method will offer you complete safety from STDs as well as pregnancy. Of course, they can rip and put you at risk, so you may want to also use another method of protection against pregnancy. Make it clear to a new beau that you are like the best VIP lounge in town; he can't get in without a jacket. If he can't accept those terms, he's probably not worth the invite.

Know thyself

Of course, every now and again we all have a sweet sherry too many and make a bad decision. If you frequently fall into this category (which I hope you don't) or would prefer some extra, stress-free protection against pregnancy, there are methods that can be take care of your fertility even when you don't. These include implants, some IUDs (intrauterine devices, or 'coils' as they are sometimes known) and the injection. Remember, however, all of these offer protection against pregnancy - not disease.

Sticking together

Once you have moved into the realm of 'couple' you may want lose the condoms. The pill is still a hugely popular choice for many women, with new brands entering the market all the time, with an ever more refined balance of hormones, so if you have problems with one type, try again and you may get much better results. Another great solution, and less permanent than their implant sisters, are hormone patches.

Right, now: let's look at those STDs in a bit more detail. Don't just stop reading - know your enemy.

What's to fear?

The list of possible infections is daunting: HIV, herpes complex, candida, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilis, hepatitis B. and certainly frightening. If that's still a bit of an abstraction for you, consider this: one million people around the world are infected with something sexually transmitted, every single day of the year.

Symptoms that can indicate an STD or STI (sexually transmitted infection) include soreness around the genitals or anus, which could be a rash, lumps and bumps, itchiness, or an unusual odour or discharge, and if you are concerned you should consult your doctor or visit a sexual health clinic. Although the clinic might seem like an embarrassing option, your doctor doesn't have to know the results of your tests: so if your GP has known you since you were five and plays cards with your gran, and you want to be tested, you might find it a good option. These clinics deal specifically with sexual health matters so are unlikely to be shocked or appalled at your arrival. At a clinic, they can also test for everything at once; they won't, however, test for HIV unless you ask them to. They will also be able to give you access to a counsellor should you want to talk through any fears or concerns you might have. Your local health centre will have a list of nearby facilities.

What if it's bad news?

Firstly, don't panic. Lots of STDs are easy to treat and leave no permanent damage. You will need to talk to your partner, though, about this news; if you are currently single and having a random check up, the clinic can contact anyone you think may have been at risk of infection on your behalf, and do so anonymously if necessary. If you are in an ongoing relationship, you must have your partner screened or you could pass it between the two of you indefinitely.

Bringing up the big issues

If you think you may be with a partner for any length of time, you may want to ask them to get tested anyway. Might seem like a truly mortifying thing to have to do, but at this stage he is likely to have seen you naked and with morning breath. You should, as a result, be able to bring this issue up with him; having contracted, or risked contracting, an STD is a pretty common occurrence and pretending that these things only happen to other people is the equivalent of thinking that the moon is made of cheese. You can always say that you would like to get tested so you can try an alternative method to condoms. The idea of riding bareback (i.e. without condoms) will quickly encourage him to make the smart choice, but on the understanding that he has the test too.


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