Dating | Weddings

Age Gap Dating

Suddenly a cutie catches your eye and you find yourself considering someone who never blipped on your radar before. Because they're not even nearly in your age group.

Yes, there are some benefits to time travel. There can be some real advantages to dating someone out of your immediate age group, but there are some disadvantages too.

Child's play

A younger man can have less baggage and fear holding him back from taking risks or trying new things; and can bring some much needed levity into your life after a heartbreak. Because younger men are not necessarily looking for a serious commitment or feeling any time pressure, you can enjoy the moment without measuring them up for a wedding suit.

Sounds great? Of course, but then, of course, we've got to talk downsides. It might be that your date is lacking something in the life-experience department, the bedroom department (no, clitoris is not a Greek island), and the being-able-to-afford-expensive-dinners department. You may also find yourself making a dash for the loo in the middle of the night and confronting his flatmates - and an absence of toilet paper. And, of course, you may run the risk of hearing your body loudly tick tock babies when he isn't even ready to learn how to set an alarm clock for a steady job. Speaking of bodies: if you are insecure, younger men aren't always the best option. They may have watched too much MTV and not seen enough reality TV to understand the concept of gravity (or maybe they just haven't covered that in class yet).

Vintage model

As for older guys, you will have the pleasure of being the pretty young thing. Those extra couple of pounds you obsess about will seem pretty desirable to an older bloke. He is more likely to have money to spend and his life in order, and know enough about relationships to be able to bypass a lot of the silly little niggles and insecurities that can plague a younger man. He also will have had all those dull conversations about foreplay - what it is, why they need to do it - which should make for an eventful bedtime (he won't have the 'frequency' of his younger brother but should have more going for him on the longevity front).

Of course, you could be a symptom of his mid-life crisis. Mid-life-crisis men are unlikely to want to hitch up you with a for any length of time, and may have come out of a difficult break-up or divorce. As a result he may be looking to play about and cut a dash around town - so if you want someone to snuggle up on the sofa with and dream paint colours for the nursery, he may not be an ideal match. Speaking of nurseries, remember that he may come with baggage. This will affect everything about your relationship from when he's free to when you get to stay. Not that this a terrible thing if he's the right guy; just remember that he might already have someone close to his heart, and only Cruella De Ville would want to shove those little (or fully grown) people out of the way.

There is, of course, the possibility that he is the eternal bachelor, and hasn't had a significant other for any serious length of time. By all means, lounge on his leather sofa, sip his expertly blended martinis (with olives), but don't try and sneak a toothbrush into his cabinet. This man is not waiting to meet the right woman, although he may be interested in the right housekeeper: someone who knows how to get a crease right.

In it for the long haul

So it started as a bit of fun and now it has blossomed into a serious contender. In the face of a relationship that encompasses a generational disparity - either way - people are going to have opinions. Somewhere along the line, people are going to be frightened that someone might be taken advantage of. And if kids are involved (yours or his), you will need to allow everyone the opportunity to have room for change and acceptance. If it's right, they'll come around.


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