Dating | Weddings

Dating Advice

Who would have thought that something as simple and natural as meeting a partner would need a manual? After all, it's easy. Don't your eyes just meet across a crowded room, then you make idle chatter and impress each other with your witty repartee, and the next thing you know it's all mini-breaks and expensive dinners with flattering low lighting? Right?

Wrong. These times they are a-changing, and almost on a daily basis. Our expectations of love, romance and sex have altered massively since only a generation ago, when marriage was seen as a lifetime commitment and the most important one you could make. Now, statistics show that almost half of all marriages end in divorce and stepfamilies are a massive part of our social fabric, which can make everyone a little more jumpy about making another commitment and a lot more fearful of getting hurt again. Factor into this longer working hours, and the expensive cost of living, and - well, you get the picture. Romance gets moved to the back burner.

But the wonderful thing is that the heart is a rather resilient organ. And while there may be more divorcees out there (as well as those who have yet to make it legal), that also means more people available to meet who might, with any luck, be a little bit wiser. This book is written with this in mind: that your first outing onto the dating scene was probably the equivalent of fairground dodgem cars; bumping happily into each other, bouncing right off again if there was no real connection, feeling like there was another bump about to come right along. Then you hook up with someone for a while and ride the big wheel: on the way up it's all anticipation and the view from the top; you really have to see it to believe it. Then, before you know it, it's back down to earth with a bump and it's all over. Except it's ten years later. And you suddenly start to feel a bit woozy. Maybe the rides aren't so much fun: it's all roller coasters and hanging upside down, and you just aren't so sure any more. Things seem a lot more complicated than they were before. There seems to be a lot more to lose (like your lunch, for example).

Only the very stupid or the very thick-skinned wouldn't feel cautious. Meeting someone in the modern world has become notoriously difficult, despite the fact that there are more people on the planet than ever before - it's like we've all lost the art of making connections. Plus, the last time we were running around looking for a mate there seemed to be a lot more single people and it seemed to be a lot easier to meet them. When you are twenty-two, writing your number in biro on the back of a guy's arm while swaggering out of the youth club with your mates might seem reasonable, but can you pull it off at thirty-four? And would he only call you to give you his dry-cleaning bill? There's a whole different art to successful dating as you get older: after all, you may only have demanded that your first love had his own skateboard, now you may expect him to own a skateboard company.

Plus, of course, there is the 'I can't meet a man' syndrome a lot of us girls hide behind. The reality is that almost half the population is male, so you need to accept that you are maybe in a rut, or just plain looking in all the wrong places. We will look at all the ways in which you can sharpen up your act, your attitude and your techniques, and give you back the control you forgot you always had. This will bring your love life back into the spotlight and get you central to being the star of your own show, rather than someone in an audience waiting for something to happen. (Has it started yet?)

This book is designed to help you understand any fears and motivations that may be holding you back, and bring that joy back from those early days when it was all a fun game. We've given you some special tools to use to help you re-enter the fray, like understanding the new rules (who pays, how do you speed date?), the insider tricks (how to know he wants you even before he opens his mouth, the ancient art of mirroring), and some good confidence boosters (make your own life sexy, keeping safe) to blast away any fears.

So lighten up and get reading and remember - anything can happen.

Enjoy the ride!

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