Your Body Image

How do you feel about your body? Having a poor body image is a surefire way to sabotage your diet, so shape up with a little self-love.

I know a man who looks like the nerd from central casting. He's overweight, has comedy ginger hair and wears rather thick spectacles, but he truly believes he's a love god.

He really does do rather well with the ladies because he is a fabulous man. He is kind, funny and clever. The point is that he has no problems with his body image. Conversely, in my years as a journalist I have met many of the world's most beautiful women and they have all expressed negative feelings about their bodies, complaining about bellies, cellulite, feeling gawky, ugly and many other 'flaws'. It's not simply a female affliction either - just as many gorgeous men worry about their flabby bellies and 'man breasts'. No one is immune from disliking their shape and looks, but some people seem to manage to get over the problem more readily.

This is not easy in a society that prizes slimness and makes negative judgements about people who are overweight. It's a prejudice that finds its way into the workplace and relationships, eating right into your self-esteem. The issue intensifies if hating the way you look turns into a negative view of your personality and character. 'I'm fat and stupid' or 'I'm not worth anything, no one likes me' are examples of this kind of dangerous auto-suggestion.

If you don't like yourself, it is going to be really hard to make the lifestyle changes that will help you lose weight. Often these sorts of thoughts are coupled with the habit of comparing yourself with others, especially with images in the media of celebrities and models. The truth is that these people's lives depend on how they look and they have the time and money to spend on an array of products, services and people who will keep them looking fabulous. What's more, the images you see are often 'improved' - for example, photos of models are often airbrushed to remove 'flaws'. For most of us, comparing ourselves to the thin and famous is just going to be a recipe for misery. That's rule number one: don't do it.

You need to develop a more realistic picture of how you would like to look: to look like you, but in better shape. Once you have done that, you can try some other self-esteem boosting tricks. Try writing down all the things you like about yourself, then turning them into positive statements and saying them to yourself every day like a mantra. If that seems too hard, ask your friends or family to write down what they love about you. You never know, you might finish up discovering things you had never dreamt of that will warm the cockles of your heart.

Next, if someone pays you a compliment, accept it without putting yourself down. Avoid conversations like this:

Friend: 'You look really well.'

You: 'Yes, but I really need to lose some weight because hardly any of my clothes fit anymore.'

Instead, try something like:

'Thanks. I feel great, too. How are you?'

Exercise is good for your self image. Not only will you see physical results, but you'll feel benefits, from the satisfaction of doing something positive for yourself to a greater sense of wellbeing. Exercise has been proven to stave off depression.

Finally, rather than seeing your body as a collection of parts that you think are awful or could use improvement, focus on it as a whole and think of the wonderful things you have done or will do with it. Cuddle someone, run a marathon, give birth, climb trees, build something, help old ladies across the road.. it's your list, you finish it.


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