Snowboarding

You can always tell a board-sports virgin by the look they give you when you ask them if they're 'goofy' or 'regular'. Deciding which foot you favour is the first step towards any kind of boarding so don't be too surprised if your first lesson in snowboarding consists of being lined up with other likely suspects and then given a shove. Whichever foot you instinctively put out to stop yourself falling will define your boarding forever more. If it's your left foot then you're 'goofy', by the way, which means a) you will ride right foot forwards, and b) you will need the patience to put up with feeble jokes every time you encounter a total novice who has just learned what goofy and regular are.

Once bound in you should first make a little platform in the snow, perpendicular to the slope to balance the board on as you stand up. Otherwise you're going to start sliding before you mean to. Moving is easy - just hop up in the air and land so you're pointing down the slope and you'll be away. Terrified, out of control and about to fall over, but away nonetheless.

Just in case you actually wanted to be in control you're going to have to master a couple of the basics. Start with the heelside (also called the backside - it's the edge nearest your heels) slide. Standing on your little platform look down the slope and point the toes on both feet. You will start to slide down the hill. Just before you turn into a human snowball try pulling both sets of toes back up. You should slow and stop. Now we're getting somewhere.

Next start off as before and just press down with the toes of your front foot (left foot if you're regular). You should slide down but also across the run; as you get to the other side pull up with that foot and start to press down with the toes of the other foot. This way you should describe a series of zigzags down the slope, facing forward all the time. Pull back with both toes at the bottom and you've completed your first run.

Now try the same thing with the toeside (front) edge. For the toeside to start slide you need to do the reverse - pushing down with the heel of your lead foot. From there you go to heelsiding until you're facing down the slope (panic, panic, panic) then pull up the toes to turn away - only now you try and join it all up by going into a toeside slide. Get it right and you will carve curves all the way down. At which point you are shredding, dude/dudette/madam dude.

From then on you only have to remember that a snowboard works much like a ski. As you tilt it, one edge cuts into the snow like a knife. If you exert pressure in the middle of the board it bows and that turns into an arc. Boards for freestyle (tricks) are bendier so they can turn sharper turns and perform more tricks. Alpine and racing boards are stiffer and offer more control at higher speeds. Likewise, freestyle boots are those nice-looking soft jobs and Alpine boots are unmistakeably mutant ski boots. Do bear that in mind when choosing gear, rather than just going for the comfy option.

Get your skates on. 'Skating' is the technique for pushing yourself along the ground on the flat. Since most new boarders are busy focusing on how to stop and turn they forget this simple skill and hordes of them only find out how essential it is as they try to use a chairlift for the first time. Whether you ride goofy or regular you'll want to unclip the back foot to push, as pushing with the front foot (pushing 'mongo' as skateboarders say) is harder work and more likely to tip you over right in front of the chairlift queue. You'll notice there's a friction pad between the front and back bindings. That's called the stomp plate and it's where you place your free foot as you glide in skate mode. Practice the skating before you even think of going near that chairlift and then you can afford to chortle as your mates penguin, wobble and wipeout before they even reach the slope.


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