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Sleep Problems in Toddlers

There are millions of parents out there who did the same when their children were babies and now run around every night dealing with their children's requests. At least you're prepared to do something about it now. A full night's sleep is within your grasp - I promise.

The key to every child's sleeping habits is the right bedtime routine which makes it easier for them to wind down to sleep. Once you've worked out a schedule, stick to it as well as keep bedtimes and waking times consistent seven days a week. So, for instance, you and your child may play quietly at 6, followed by bathtime at 6.30. Then you read to him for half an hour before putting him down to bed at 7.30. Having daytime routines such as regular meal and activity times also help anchor sleep times. Bedtime routine established, you can now deal with those night-time wakings.

Most cases can be cured easily by controlled crying where you teach your child to go to sleep on her own. If you're really tough, you can probably solve it in two or three nights by letting her cry and not going to her at all. In theory, she'll cry for 20 or 30 minutes the first night (it'll probably seem like a couple of hours), 10 minutes the second night, not at all the third. You might find this approach too harsh - like I did - particularly if your child is between 6 and 19 months and is probably just suffering separation anxiety.

The solution for old softies, then, is to sit down by your baby's cot without turning on the light and keep murmuring something reassuring such as 'Don't worry, mummy (or daddy) is here. Go back to sleep' until she does. The idea is that you do less and less every night to comfort your baby until she's going to sleep on her own. If the first night you lightly stroke your baby, on the second night continue the soothing voice but don't stroke your child. Obviously, this takes a lot longer than the first method because it takes the child longer to realise she has to get herself to sleep.

If it's taking weeks and sleep deprivation is pushing you to the edge of insanity, you may want to try a compromise solution. On the first night, let your child cry for two minutes, then go in and reassure her briefly, tuck her in and leave; then let her cry for five, then ten, then fifteen and so on before going in to comfort her and leaving. This also usually works in a few nights, but may take up more of your night. So do it at a weekend when you and your partner can do shifts and make up for lost sleep the next day. Or recruit your brother or parents to do a night on duty.

When everyone is exhausted and you've already been up several times, it's tempting to take children into bed with you. And sometimes they just creep in without you knowing. If you've succumbed and now need to get the cuckoo back in its own nest, bear in mind that this may take a while. Explain that this bed is for adults and you would like your child to sleep in his or her bed. Be calm and ready to take your child back, perhaps many times, without getting cross. If they stay in their bed, but start crying, let them cry for a few minutes before going in to reassure them. Leave it a few minutes longer each time before going in.


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